Parental Guidance and Resources
Anxiety
Are you worried about your child?
Are you worried about your child?
Firstly, you’re not alone. Parents now worry about their children’s mental health, and bullying, a lot more than stranger danger, drugs, pregnancy or trouble with the police. Since the pandemic, 3 out of 5 parents are concerned that their child’s mental health issues are worsening their performance at school.
What to do?
Ups and downs are normal in adolescence, but if you’re worried about your child’s psychological distress, gently ask them about it.
Signs that they’re struggling might be: persistent low mood or anxieties, social isolation, a fall in grades, a drastic change in behaviour or personality, difficulties sleeping, concentrating or eating, missing school with headaches, stomach aches and panic attacks.
Why is my child hurting themselves? Are they at risk of suicide?
This is a subject that’s painful for parents to contemplate, let alone have to face. If you’ve noticed injuries or scars on your child’s body, had a call from school telling you that your child is self-harming or you’re fearful that your child may be at risk of suicide, stay calm and gently explore how they’re feeling. If it seems appropriate, ask them if it ever feels so bad that they’ve contemplated ending their own life. You cannot put the idea of suicide into a young person’s head by talking about it. But if they are experiencing suicidal thoughts, it can be a huge relief to acknowledge the depth of their despair with another person. This difficult conversation can be a starting place for seeking help until these thoughts pass.
Hug your child. Tell them that you care that they’re in such a dark place and want to support them through it. Don’t minimise their feelings of hopelessness, count their blessings for them or try to distract them out of it. Many people experience suicidal ideation at some time in their life. Few will act on these thoughts. However, any talk of suicide should be taken seriously. Never dismiss it as attention-seeking.
Where to seek help in an emergency
If your child’s life is in danger – call 999 or take them straight to A&E.
For an urgent 24/7 mental health assessment (but not a life-threatening emergency), contact your local NHS Urgent Mental Health Helpline (www.nhs.org or call 111)
Confidential, mental health helplines, most of them free and 24 hours
Childline - â 0800 1111 or sign up to send a message to Childline and get a response within a day
Samaritans - â 116123 or â jo@samaritans.org
SHOUT - Text SHOUT to 85258 24/7
Papyrus (Prevention of Young Suicide) HOPELINE247 - â 0800 068 4141 â pat@papyrus-uk.org or Text 88247
The Mix - Text 85258 for urgent mental health support
Mental Health Services – NHS, @ School and Elsewhere
Start with your GP. They may refer your child to Child & Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) where, if your child’s issues meet a threshold of severity, a psychiatrist may make a diagnosis and prescribe medication and/or talking therapies.
Psychologists, psychotherapists and counsellors also provide talking therapies. Ask your child if they feel it might help to talk about what they’re going through. Counselling needs to be voluntary.
@ School
At CGS there are two counsellors: Anya Beatty and Emma Guest. Students can be referred for counselling by their Head of Year, Matron, Parents, or they can refer themselves.
What school counsellors do
- Provide convenient, free counselling during term time for young people who are struggling and unhappy and need more support than teachers can provide but don’t necessarily meet the CAMHS threshold for services.
- Up to 6 sessions (sometimes more), children can talk through their problems in a non-judgemental, confidential space. By exploring what makes them feel as they do - sad or angry, confused or anxious - they can gain more understanding and acceptance of themselves. We all cope better when we’re able to tell our story, find the words to express difficult emotions and feel cared about during tough times.
- Speedy referrals and no long waiting lists - CAMHS waiting lists are long and specialist services are sometimes turning referrals away. We’re often able to see someone within a week. Sometimes there’s a short wait.
- What issues do children bring? Social anxiety, depression, neurodiversity, eating disorders, self-harm, suicidal ideation, friendship fall outs, exam stress, bereavement, low self-esteem, sex, drugs and alcohol, gender and cultural identity, and the impact of parents’ expectations, divorce, addictions and mental illness - to name but a few.
What we don’t do
- Tell the young person what to do, set them (more) homework and (more) goals.
- Promise a quick fix for challenging behaviour, poor grades or severe psychiatric issues.
Elsewhere
If your child doesn’t want counselling at school, there are alternatives:
- Local and specialised private therapists can be found through the British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists or UK Council for Psychotherapy directories.
- Charities providing free or low-cost counselling for young people such Chesham Relate, Youth Enquiry Service in High Wycombe (www.yeswycombe.org) and/or Number22 Maidenhead & Windsor Youth Counselling Service.
Further advice for parents on how to seek mental health services is available through Young Minds.
Finally, if you’re worrying about your child’s mental health, it can be stressful and lonely. Please look after yourself, too.
Bereavement
Child Bereavement UK - â Jackie Grant @ Child Bereavement
Cruse Bereavement Support
Eating Disorders
Eating Disorders Support - â 01494 793223 (local self help group)
B-eat - Eating disorde charity and information service
E-Safety
CEOP - Child Exploitation and Online Protection
CEOP Education - for children and parents
Childnet - helping make the internet safe for young people
CSG - Keeping Safe Online Letter to Parents
E-safety Factsheet for Parents
Parents Guide to Safety and Privacy Settings
UK Safer Internet Centre - online safety site for teachers, parents and children
Exam Stress
All the revision and exam tips you'll ever need - YoungMinds
Exam Stress and Pressure - Childline
Exam Time - YoungMinds
Study Support - BBC Bitesize
Gambling
Happiness
Action for Happiness - Ideas for how to help individuals improve their own wellbeing as well as helping to build a happier and more caring society
Health
NHS Inform - Healthy Living
Mental Health and Counselling
Parenting
Self-Harm
Self Harm - free online support for 10-17 year olds
Sexual Health
Smoking, Drugs and Alcohol
Tech Addiction
Welfare, Anti-Bullying and Safeguarding
Childline - A free, private and confidential service for young people where you can be you. Whatever your worry, whenever you need help, however you want to get in touch. We're here for you online, on the phone, anytime
NSPCC - Prevention of abuse, source of support for parents and young people if you have concerns about abuse and well being, including e-safety
Papyrus - Prevention of young suicide
Samaritans - Available 24 hours a day for someone to talk to about any concern
The Mix - Whether you’re 13, 25, or any age in between, we’re here to take on the embarrassing problems, weird questions, and please-don’t-make-me-say-it-out-loud thoughts you have. We give you the information and support you need to deal with it all